bread guilt

i contemplate baking little baguettes in the morning.
if i leave the flour, yeast, and water overnight, it'll rise enough for me to make little loaves and bake for 40 minutes.

in the country where my father is from, only children and pregnant women have access to bread rations right now.
why should i have bread when they can't even access flour, electricity, clean water?
does he feel this same guilt? is it sharper because he knows that pain firsthand?
i've never been to the country. i know there are relatives there i've never met, might never meet.
he left well into adulthood and still connects with those he can online--
and it looks like it's getting harder and harder to get online.
most of what i know is what i've read through the news, or snippets from my mom. he doesn't tell me much.
is it that he doesn't want to share his business? is it that he wants to shield me? is it that he assumes i'm old enough to know and find out for myself?
how could i ever ask him,
"how much does it hurt when you think about what you've left behind?"
i know he sends resources to loved ones on the island.
i had heard about others doing it on an npr article, actually, and it made me think of him--well before my mom ever mentioned it in passing.
what am i supposed to do? what am i supposed to do?
how much of this do i leave wholly his? how much of this should i be responsible for? how do i ever even ask?

i don't make bread in the morning.